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My name is Kelsey. I am delightfully sarcastic


icanrelateto:

image

Teke-Teke

Teke-Teke is the legend of a woman who comitted suicide by jumping onto the subway tracks and was cut in half. Her top-half became a ghost that crawls around cutting people in half with a scythe. Any of her victims are doomed to become Teke-Teke themselves, which means that…




1,184 notes

Tinder summed up in one screenshot. 

Tinder summed up in one screenshot. 

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)



731 notes

thewomanfromitaly:

jragonsoul:

thewomanfromitaly:

i am 100% for women responding very rudely and aggressively to disgusting unsolicited messages or dick pics from men on the internet

^^^^^^^^ I support this message with everything I have, except my penis, of which you will not be getting unwanted AND/OR unsolicited pics about.

excuse me hello 911 i have an emergency

yes

yes hes finding a way to talk about his penis anyway

(via straightwhiteboystexting)




42,822 notes
beccad18:

I just joined Tindr to see what was up.  I wasn’t expecting material this good, this quickly.  Man, does he really try to get laid with that opener??

beccad18:

I just joined Tindr to see what was up.  I wasn’t expecting material this good, this quickly.  Man, does he really try to get laid with that opener??

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)



1,650 notes

Somebody get this guy a Gatorade and a brain. Thirsty fool!

Somebody get this guy a Gatorade and a brain. Thirsty fool!

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)



2,939 notes
lifeprowlr:

"Romance"

lifeprowlr:

"Romance"

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)



3,172 notes
tkdgirl2002:

A text has never made me so angry before. This guy was a real a**hole. His profile talked about how all he wanted was a girl to have a relationship with and do respectable things together like hikes and wine tastings, and then he immediately kept asking why I wouldn’t have sex on a first date. He claimed that sex was a requirement for “free dinner.” Ughh I hate men. THEN…I told him you should be careful what you say to people because it can be taken the wrong way, and he said he was going to go to the cops because I “threatened” him! 

tkdgirl2002:

A text has never made me so angry before. This guy was a real a**hole. His profile talked about how all he wanted was a girl to have a relationship with and do respectable things together like hikes and wine tastings, and then he immediately kept asking why I wouldn’t have sex on a first date. He claimed that sex was a requirement for “free dinner.” Ughh I hate men. THEN…I told him you should be careful what you say to people because it can be taken the wrong way, and he said he was going to go to the cops because I “threatened” him! 

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)



510 notes
happymeadow:

The last message was months after. 

happymeadow:

The last message was months after. 

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)



360 notes

theultimateginger:

artbylexie:

twowhovianhearts:

fishtwigz:

History according to Tumblr.

I’M CRYING I’M IN HYSTERICS I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER RECOVER THIS MEANS I CANNOT GO TO COLLEGE ON WEDNESDAY THANK YOU

Putting this on my main blog because I know everyone loves history as much as I do and needs to laugh.

I think this just gets funnier every time I see it.

(via kizziewombat)



442,219 notes

shubbabang:

if im at your house and you leave the room without telling me to come with i will literally stand there and not move or sit down or touch anything until you come back no matter how long you’re gone

(via iexcuseyourface)




201,820 notes

(Source: the-wind-would-whisper, via kizziewombat)



6,150 notes

pplanetary:

just cause you can’t be pretty like her doesn’t mean you can’t be pretty like you

(via iexcuseyourface)




1,850 notes
redbikeprince:

i have never read anything more blatantly written by a man before

redbikeprince:

i have never read anything more blatantly written by a man before

(via iexcuseyourface)



30,068 notes

gabite:

those cashiers that let you buy things when you’re missing a few cents deserve to live forever

(via iexcuseyourface)




154,951 notes
nun:pastor, we are having trouble with the exorcism
pastor:have you tried unblessing and blessing again ?



20,551 notes
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